Prostate cancer - a personal journey (5)

by Bluewhale on 25 November 2011

The tricky but fun subject of sex! My partner and I enjoy a close physical relationship and following surgery, and TWOCing, I was anxious to see what could be achieved. Being diabetic I was already familiar with ED and used Vardenafil, but unfortunately my surgeon had to remove one of the two sets of important nerves so expectations were not high. Additionally this was only a couple of days after the catheter was removed.

Erection? No chance. Orgasm, yes thanks but with a side effect...... no seminal fluid but a leaking of urine! No one told me this might happen! Another side effect was a spasm in my bladder that had me back in hospital for a day as I found it very difficult to pass urine at all. Fear of being re-catherterised helped and I was allowed home again detirmined to be more careful!

So what of now? My surgeon told me that it could take up to three years (!) to regain full erections, but given my diabetic state, I might never be as good as I was (that's me saying I'm good, not my partner!!). I invested in a suction pump but don't get on with that too well. I do get erections which is encouraging, but they seem to crop up spontaniously at the wrong time (not quite in Sainsburys, but when they are of no use) and are not hugely strong. Nice to get them though, it's like shaking hands with an old friend, and it gives me hope that one day I will be back on form.

In the meantime, and I know it is not perfect and lacks spontaneity, but we use a strap on hollow dildo. It allows for all the old movements and the physical closeness and of course means I can last for hours(!!) My partner, who is a loving lady, understanding and with a great sense of humor, enjoys it too and I do reach some fantastic orgasms. Although with the lack of semen and seminal fluid they are meant to be dry, they are often not, but if you are prepared with a small towell, no one comes to any harm with a discharge of urine. I can say that most of my orgasms are better than before the surgery but there is one sometimes uncomfortable side effect. The rush and 'pressure' of the orgasm is so great that for 24 hours afterwards my bladder hurts so much I need to take a painkiller and that sometimes the bladder muscles react by me dribbling a bit more for a day, but hey ho, it's so good I am not going to stop!!

Of the future I hope we will just keep practising but I am aware of what my Consultant told me early on.... 'sometimes you have to make the distinction between being stiff and being stiff!'

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We're delighted to be working with the charity Prostate Action on the prostate disease blog and we are grateful for their help in attracting new bloggers willing to tell their story.

The prostate disease bloggers

Grahamn278 was referred to a urologist with a high PSA in 2008 and prostate cancer was confirmed

monty2011 knew there was a problem with his prostate when he started needing to go to the toilet more often

AgedTenor is 64, loves singing and geology, and was alerted to his prostate cancer by a raised PSA test

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