Men need to be Aware: 2 - Lost lives save me

by monty2011 on 3 March 2011

It was 2004, I was still peeing often, but nothing had worsened and it had become a way of life and something I rarely thought about. A work colleague turned to me and said, "Hi, Monty, have you heard about Peter?"  "No", I responded. He had different responsibilities to me and we rarely saw or spoke to each other. "He died last week.", I was told. "What happened" I asked. " Don't know, evidently he died due to prostate cancer" Came the answer.  The word "Cancer" took priority, the type at that time meant nothing.  Later we, as work colleagues, attended his funeral and learned he had had problems for some time, outwardly none of us had ever noticed any problems apart from the odd missed meeting, nor at that time were we insensitive enough to delve into finding out what the symptoms had been.

Peter's death left vancancies on a few committees one of which I filled. On this Committee was Patricia.

Patricia's story will be told later on her own blog, but to link her story to mine let me say that Patricia was from Sheffield and I was from Doncaster and our relationship was very business like. We met at meetings and went on our separate ways after them, there was little time for social chit chat and I had very little knowledge as to her home situation. In November 2006 after thirteen years of treatment for prostate cancer Patricia's husband sadly died.

February 2007, my wife Ellen said she had been invited over the road to sample food. There lived an Asian family who had just had a celebration. My wife was Anglo-Indian and loved asian food. She was gone half an hour then returned and said she was going shopping. An hour later she returned, a little while later I heard her crying in the kitchen, I went to see what was wrong and she told me that she was feeling very concerned about her brother in Australia.

We had known for some little time that his wife, Denise, had breast cancer and it was terminal, but a day or so earlier we had been told she had only days to live. Finding Ellen so much distressed I told her that if she wanted to go out there we would. Ellen declined because of her complete dislike of flying. A little later Ellen came to me and said she had developed indigestion and was going to lie down for a while. An hour later I went to see how she was. She told me that she still had the discomfort and so I asked if she wanted a doctor. Now Ellen several years previously had had kidney cancer and this had been found when she was being examined for some other totally unrelated ailment. So when ever she was feel unwell she would always see the doctor on the just in case basis. So I called the surgery and it was a case of we do not do home calls, if you are concerned dial 999. I wasn't that concerned but for Ellens peace of mind I dialed 999 and an ambulance arrived. 

The crew did several tests on Ellen whilst she lay on the bed. They said they could do the tests better if she was in the ambulance, so they stretchered her out there, air mask and all. The look on my face must have said it all as the ambulance man said it is only routine. The ambualnce man asked me for her date of birth, I said 5th December 1945, Ellen took the mask off and said "Its the third" That was the last words I heard from her. Fifteen minutes in the ambulance and the crew said they would like to take her to hospital for further tests. They asked if I was coming in the ambulance. I said no I would come by car so that I could bring her back home. I followed the ambulance until the blue lights came on. It never dawned on me what was coming next. It wasn't until I reached the hospital that I was told Ellen was dead on arrival. My feelings in writing this now are very much the same as on the day it happened.  Ellen had recieved a clear of cholesteral report just weeks before but she died because furring of the arteries cut blood off from the brain.   Denise died two days later.

Next week read what happened after Patricia rang to offer her condolences. or see


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The prostate disease bloggers

Grahamn278 was referred to a urologist with a high PSA in 2008 and prostate cancer was confirmed

monty2011 knew there was a problem with his prostate when he started needing to go to the toilet more often

AgedTenor is 64, loves singing and geology, and was alerted to his prostate cancer by a raised PSA test

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