Describing settings: Dungeon

This is a collection of work. Click through the chapters to see the full collection or download the attached standards file.

After looking at a variety of settings in shared reading, children were asked to describe the setting of either a castle or a dungeon to include a range of adjectives.

Pupil's handwritten work titled 'Describing Settings � Dungeon'.
The text reads 'The scutlings rats quielty ran across the dirty, slimy cobblstones. Noisily the rotting skeleton slowly creaked on the west wall, where green plants were overgrowing. There were 2 blazing fire torches on each damp, smelly wall. The atmosphere was cold and the chains were heavy and rusting away. All the moonlight (wich wasn't very much!) that was coming in through the small window, was casting weird and scary shadows on the uncomfortable, stone floor. On the doors there was metal, black bars. It was quickly and quitly getting lighter and lighter outside.' The words 'quielty', 'noisily', 'slowly', 'quickly' and 'quitly' have been highligted in yellow. The words 'dirty', 'slimy', 'rotting', 'green', 'blazing', 'damp', 'smelly', 'scary', 'uncomfortable', 'stone', 'metal' and 'black' have been highlighted in pink. The words 'cold', 'heavy', 'rusting' and 'small' have been highlighted in red. The words 'rotting', 'overgrowing' and 'uncomfortable' have been underlined in red.

Assessment summary

The descriptive purpose is maintained throughout the paragraph and Kylie attempts to use an appropriate style (AF2 L4 b1 b3). Adverbial and expanded noun phrases enhance the description (e.g. 'quietly ran across the dirty…', 'blazing fire torches') (AF1 L4 b2), but occasionally these are too elaborate to be convincing (e.g. 'Noisily the rotting skeletons slowly creaked…').

The vocabulary is chosen to create a picture of the dungeon in the reader's mind (AF7 L4 b2), although apart from some brief reference to sounds (e.g. 'creaked'), opportunities to develop senses beyond what the narrator sees have been missed (AF2 L3 b2).

Overall, the ideas are listed without internal links (AF4 IE).

Some variety in sentence structures, including the use of complex sentences and connectives such as 'which' and 'where', indicates AF5 L4 b2. Sentence demarcation is accurate and with commas possibly overused (AF6 L4 b3).