Depression 

Introduction 

Depression explained

In this video, an expert describes the various levels of depression, the early warning signs and the treatments available.

Depression is a serious illness. Health professionals use the words depression, depressive illness or clinical depression to refer to it. It is very different from the common experience of feeling unhappy, miserable or fed up for a short period of time.

When you are depressed, you may have feelings of extreme sadness that can last for a long time. These feelings are severe enough to interfere with your daily life, and can last for weeks or months, rather than days.

Depression is quite common and about one in ten people will experience depression at some point. However, the exact number of people with depression is hard to estimate because many people do not get help or are not formally diagnosed with the condition.

Women are more likely to have depression than men, and 1 in 4 women will require treatment for depression at some point, compared to 1 in 10 men. Men are far more likely than women to commit suicide, which may be because men are less likely to seek help for depression. Alternatively, it may be due to other factors including substance misuse, unemployment and social isolation.

Depression can affect people of any age, including children. Studies have shown that about 4% of children aged 5-16 in the UK are affected by depression.

People with a family history of depression are more likely to experience depression themselves. Depression affects people in many ways and can cause a wide variety of physical, psychological (mental) and social symptoms.

A few people still think that depression is not a real illness and that it is a form of weakness or admission of failure. This is simply not true. Depression is a real illness with real effects, and it is certainly not a sign of failure.

With the right treatment and support, most people can make a full recovery from depression. It is important to seek help from your GP if you think you may be depressed.

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Last reviewed: 09/09/2010

Next review due: 09/09/2012

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Ashleigh1992 said on 15 May 2011

I have never been diagnosed with depression but since i was 12 i have been suffering. I got bullied and did drugs. I self harmmed most nights and would just cry my self to sleep. Im finally going to build up the courage to speak to the doctor tomorrow. All these feeling i have been fighting for so many years are hittiing me hard again. I feel so lonely, As if i have not got a friend in the world.. past memories are always haunting me. I feel the comments and the pain i feel will never leave me. I just hope something changes before i start scarring my self again.. i dont want that. But i feel the urges to do it again. Im not happy i dont think i ever have been?

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Foxgloves said on 30 April 2011

I'm 20 years old. I know i have it and have knowns for years. I'm far to embaressed and ashammed to drag any of my friends into this and don't get how seeing a doctor will to make anything better. After a recent death of a friend things have gone downhill and i just feel like theres no light at the end of the tunnle.

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DiscoDuck said on 25 April 2011

Hey stratford1995, I can totally understand what your going through. I know it's hard, we all do. But you have to ask for help. If not from your family or friends, then what about your GP? The samaritans? They even have a website. Don't go down the same road as me. x

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stratford1995 said on 25 April 2011

Hi, I think I have depression, and I'm too scared to tell anyone, I feel they would be upset, embarrassed etc and I dont know what to do, its all getting to much for me now, everything is, and I'm really scared.

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botbotbot said on 19 April 2011

I have been suffering with depression now for 8 years, starting when I was a teenager with serious troubles at home. I tried the medication first, and I had a counsellor as well for a while but neither helped. I felt like the tablets only treated the effects not the cause, and my counsellor never even seemed to be listening. I started smoking cannabis to help me deal with the upset, it provides an instant hit of happiness that I couldn't get anywhere else, but now it is taking over my life. My depression has become unbearable, and I have started to hurt myself to try and cope. I'm sick of people, even those I love, looking at me like I'm crazy all the time. Nobody seems to understand and I don't have anybody to talk to about it. I feel like this is the end of the line, and If i don't get help now I can't turn back, I feel hopeless.

I have managed to find a counsellor that I feel like i can trust, but I have yet to make an appointment because I can't afford the treatment. I'm scared that If I go to the doctor for a referral then they will only put me on a waiting list again, and I really can't wait any longer. I don't know what to do next, I'm stuck in limbo and could do with some advice, I'm terrified of going to the doctor's.

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isobel654 said on 14 April 2011

I have suffered from depression and anxiety for about nine years and only sought help about two years ago. There are many stigmas attached to depression and I understand how hard it is to ask for help. But I would urge anyone who feels they are depressed to go see a doctor, and if this fails (as, sadly, many doctors are inadequate at dealing with mental health issues) try a different one. I have seen four different doctors and finally found one who has put me on a different medication (the old one wasn't effective) and I could not be happier with my treatment.

It has taken a long time since asking for help up until a point where I feel myself again but it has been worth it. I have tried counselling two seperate times and if you find a great one it is a brilliant therapy. Talking to someone who does not know you takes away the shame factor and offers an outside perspective. They are trained to help you and will do all they can to do this. I'm also a firm believer in exercising (just walking a little extra or swimming once a week helps), and just involving yourself in activities, be it a yoga class or making time for coffee with a friend seriously helps to lift your mind. The worst thing you can do is shut yourself away, though I understand how overwhelming the urge to do this is.

Sadly the nhs isn't perfect. You have to help yourself, if you find your doctor is useless keep trying until one listens. There are some fantastic doctors out there who will bend over backwards to help you, find them. Do not feel ashamed in asking for help, it is such an insignificant task once you are well again. I have spent far too much time suffering with this awful illness and eventually found the strength to get help. I have found myself again and have realised life is far too short to suffer unnecessarily.

I wish all of you luck in defeating depression x

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Billiem said on 09 March 2011

I got in touch with the crisis team about two weeks ago now and they came out to see me the following morning (I say I got in touch with them but my GP was conceerned that I may try and go for a walk with some rope and hang myself in the middle of the night). They came out and did an assesment on me and they said I needed to have some intensive home treatment and I needed to see the pschyatric nurse at my local surgery, they have been useless, I'm on medication but not the stuff that I mentioned before they changed it to something that I cannot even pronounce. I still feel low and it has been a month now. And the really fabulous news is that I had stomach pain in the middle of the night that I couldn't get rid of so I was awake all night, I asked my hubby where my appendix are and he said they are low down on your right side and I lay flat and I felt this huge bump (I'm a big lass anyway and a few extra pounds I wouldn't notice) but now I believe I'm pregnent. I'm scared that if I tell anyone that they will stop the treatment that I desparately need. I cannot be just a bit pregnent either because the lump in there is bigger than my hand). I'm scared. I don't want more children, I'm scared that I'll be useless at it and it couldn't have happened at a worse time and I'm still having my periods, the pain still hasn't gone though but what should I do? Help.

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shona04 said on 28 February 2011

i dont know how to explain how i feel, i just feel wrong. ive always been the kind of person that can be mega happy one minute and down the next but its never been this bad. i feel sad ALL the time now and i suffer from panic attacks and anxiety pains, i dont sleep properly and when i do sleep im waking up with anxiety pains in my chest and i feel i have to get up and do something because something really bad will happen. i feel like im missing something in life, and no i do not mean that in hollywood film way like as though i seriously have lost something important...i often feel like something really bad will happen and i start to worry for those around me and myself. i often have dreams about my loved ones dying or myself being murdered and its horrible. i am so scared of death i do not want to harm myself or die like some people with depression do. since leaving school four years ago i really tried to make a life for myself, i have a well paid steady job a long term relationship with a wonderful person, and im getting ready to go university, but none of this makes me happy and i have knowone to talk to about it as my mother and siblings all suffer from depression aswel as long-term illnesses and my dad is not supportive or pro-active in the family and is violently abusive. the only time i am happy is when im reading my novels because i pretend i am the charachter in the book. i cry all the time or shout, i get panic attacks on my way to work and i cant concentrate on anything. my appetite is next to nothing and i rather go a whole day and only eat a bowl of cereal or i binge eat to the point where i feel sick. ive always found it difficult maintaining friendships but just recently (since last november) all my friends have given up on me (i dont blame them). i feel inadaquate and like im a bad person that doesnt deserve things. im really sorry for the essay i just needed to get it off my chest. im going back to my GP so hopefully will get it sorted.

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butterfly24 said on 26 February 2011

I am fairly new to depression, having suffered my first major incident just two years ago, at the age of 36, when I was made redundant out of the blue. I read a great book which described all the symptoms I had and which made me realise that I was not going crazy and I was not alone. What I have learned is that you basically have to roll with it. You should not beat yourself up for suffering from depression. You need to surrender to it and realise that it is ok to be like that. You have an illness. However, I am not suggesting you don't fight it. Having done a fair amount of research I truly believe that what we eat and drink and the amount of exercise we do has a large part to play in all of this. Taking a high dosage of fish oil, and also taking folic acid, has apparently helped some people. It is easy to go down the route of drinking too much however that just numbs you more than you already are, which is not good. Avoid alcohol altogether and be good to yourself. I have read that acupuncture has also proven to be successful in treating depression. I have my first session on Wednesday! Trying eating healthily (avoid sugar and alcohol). taking fish oil and folic acid supplements, taking regular exercise and having acupuncture once a month and see if that makes a difference. I am obviously not a doctor but I am willing to do whatever it takes to get back to normal and be myself again. I am worried about when this will happen but I know from a previous episode that i wil gradually be able to feel happiness again. It is very important to believe that you will find your true self again. I wish everybody well with their own personal struggle and hope that in time everybody will be able to experience the joy in life once more. I remember I used to enjoy the simple things in life like playing with my dog or feeling the sun on my face. I hope that these pleasures will return very soon.

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Fiona93 said on 26 February 2011

Okay so, im 17, at sixth form and studying for four a levels. But i find it extremely difficult to actually get out of bed to go to sixth form, or to get motivated to do coursework. I struggle to get to sleep at night, and when i am asleep i keep waking up. I keep having strange dreams, usually about the same things. My younger brother is autistic which doesn't make things at home easy. I don't even know if i have depression, last summer i had weekly appointments with a school nurse, because at school i broke down in tears infront of one of my teachers, i couldn't stop myself. To be fair the nurse was pretty useless, i never got a diagnosis and i still haven't now. My parents knew how i was feeling at the time, they have no idea that i still feel that way. I stopped going to the appointments with the nurse because i felt she wasnt helping me at all. My GP was useless, when i said i thought i had depression, he suggested i had a blood test, and the results of that were 'i need to eat some more vegetables'. Which had nothing to do with me crying every day and not sleeping. Im scared about talking to my parents about how i feel because i dont want them to be worried about me again, my mum has suffered with depression in the past, im just scared and i dont know how to tell them or what to say to them. I've told my boyfriend and he is really supportive and encourages me to tell my parents, but i cant? Has anybody got any advice for me? (sorry about the essay, and if it bored you)

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DiscoDuck said on 24 February 2011

Ok, so where do I start? I'm bouncing between the lucid side of me that rejects the idea that I'm depressed, and the doom and gloom side that knew it all along.My GP is useless,and thinks that its antidepressants or nothing, my mum just brings things back onto her and how she feels and my husband just thinks I should snap out of it...I wish I could. I'm at a loss of what to do. I spoke to someone about how I felt today and I just felt like an idiot, shes trainned to do her job, but it just came over as a clinical exercise. Her primary concern was if she could trust me not to go home and self harm...I feel so stupid and worthless that self harm wouldn't make a difference. Wish I had the courage to do something to stop myself feeling like this. I hate this, it's not me anymore. What can I do?

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User530956 said on 21 February 2011

(continuing from previous comment) ....

I just realised I was rambling on... so I'll get back to the point. I rang the 0845 number, they gave me crappy information about cold and flu, then said we're only taking urgent calls, we can arrange to call you back in 4 hours. I was ringing from a mobile and was listening to 3 minutes of a pre recorded message then it started ringing and I was put on some sort of hold. 5 minutes I waited at 25/pm. It's safe to say i'm more depressed than what I was before I called. Thanks for all the help NHS.

I don't even know why I tried calling, I wouldnt know what to say without feeling like an idiot, I've gotten so used to acting normal that when I come to speak to people I don't sound depressed, so they will either tell me I'm fine or they'll think I'm taking the p*ss. I don't know what to do. I just want to be normal.

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User530956 said on 21 February 2011

I dont know what to do. I just completed the depression test (the questions are rubbish in my opinion).
It told me to phone the NHS Direct so I doible checked the number and found this message on one of the NHS pages "Whatever your health concern or query, we’re here for you 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Just call 0845 4647" I called at 6am, I've been up all night talking to my girlfriend about how I've been feeling over the last few years, and she told me I need to see someone... everyone says that, I feel like they don't want to try and help me. Which is the main reason I havent contacted anyone "professional". But I realised I need to sort this out when I found myself talking out loud, arguing with myself about why I should kill myself, and which method to do it.

I don't know what's up with me... I can't call it depression because its not on-going all of the time, I've had moments of happiness I guess, but most of the time I just feel drained and useless. I've told my girlfriend countless times that I'm not worth the trouble and that she should just leave me to die. I'm just causing her to worry which she doesn't need.
I pretend I'm ok a lot of the time, especially in front of family, they've seen me down and depressed and I don't think it's fair on them to have to see that, so I just pretend everything is ok.

I'm 20 years old, I stay in my room pretty much all day unless i go down to eat or get a drink. Most days (and I mean 90% of days) I sit in my room playing games or watching TV shows or films. All day. I don't like going out, besides I dont have the money to anyway. The only time my day changes is when my girlfriend comes over, and she doesnt come very often, maybe 2-3 times a week. I look for jobs because I have to, I don't want to work, I have no motivation to work, I hate interviews, they are so fake, no one is themself in interviews anyway, so why I have to pretend I'm better than what I am to get a job I dont know......

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markymatt said on 18 February 2011

Reading this page is my first hesitant step towards going to see a doctor. So many of the comments resonate with me and it's humbling how willing people are to share, and really encouraging. Over the past few years I've lost energy and focus, and gone from being a creative busy person to tired, jaded and snappy. I don't keep in touch with friends, drink to much, eat too little and sleep either too much or not at all. Even small problems just feel insurmountable and I can't see any progress for my future, either work or personal life. I'm 34 and feel totally left behind by old friends. I go out to drink but can't deal with sociable situations. But the thing that bothers me most is not being able to concentrate or focus because I used to be so capable of hard brain work, now my brain just feels mangled and dead. I feel sad and even angry whenever I am in contact with the outside world - I shock myself sometimes at how much I seem to hate people.

But what to do ? I'm suspicious of this label 'depression' and am determined not to be on medication, so will explore every other avenue first. But for now, thakns to all those who've written comments and shared stories. It's good not to feel alone.

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Billiem said on 18 February 2011

I went to the doctor last week as I thought that maybe it was about time I pulled myself out of this glue I seem to have been stuck in for so very long and he said he would arrange for me to see the psychiatric nurse this wee (which he obviously did not!) and he prescribed me some citalopram for the depression and some diazepam for my terrible nerves. Next Wednesday I will hev been on the for two weeks and they don't seem to be helping, the only thing I want to do is sleep. I have two wonderful little boys and I don't seem to be able to pull myself out of this which depresses me even more. I feel hopeless and useless and do I care that my husband has had to take a week off of his training course because all I want to do is sleep............no not really because at least I got to hide away in bed. I am seriously considering admitting myself, I have been depresed for almost 13 years and I cannot remember a time I have felt happy.....whatever that means. I look at people like my neighbour and I think what have you got to smile about, seriously all you do is yell at your kids and let your husband walk all over you but still you manage to smile. I think that if I have myself admitted at least I will get the help I need and I will get it pretty quickly......Wont I? I just feel dead, I'm 26 and I should be out there building some kind of future for my kids and me but everywhere I go I feel like they are all staring into my soul and they know every weakeness about me. I know that that is silly by the way but I hate leaving the house. I have panic attacks just going to the supermarket. When I go to job interviews I end up sitting there and saying very little, I just feel that I have nothing to offer and that everyone is better that me, I would feel very silly saying.... please give me the job because I have a family to support and I am in alot of debt.....they wouldn't care about that. I just don't know what to do, I'm alone and I have been for a long time.

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BennS said on 14 February 2011

Guys; I am completely lost... I know I am depressed - I have major anxiety too - Having panic attacks left right and central - The generalised anxiety levels are repugnant - I have lost my job, my wife, my kids are now living with her and another woman, my head is all over the place - Im either terrified or angry - I cannot stay stable for five minutes. I lost my flat - and am now "camping" at my mum and dad's driving my dad crazy because his once confident and strong son is now a jibbering wreck that is scared to go out of the house and "face things". I have been hospitalised twice and fed god knows how many types of medication - am receiving counselling - going to see a nutritionalist - writing to Doctors in far reaching countries for advice/ seeking an operation on my head which has been "busted" for god knows how many years - I really am lost in this disgusting black horrible filthy self centred shabby way of life - It has become mind numbingly bad - Wake up panicking - continue with anxiety all day - feeling sick and nauseas all the time - dont eat properly - running to the toilet every five minutes - This has got to come to an end - I dont even know why I am writing this down - at least it saves me from shouting at the top of my lungs at the wall again... I keep being told that I need to distract myself - but how the hell do you distract yourself from something that electrifies your whole body and paralyses you in fear at any given moment - I am trying so hard to be normal and find work but my body/brain wont allow it to happen - as soon as I get anywhere near an interview my legs turn to jelly and I want to puke everywhere - What is all of this about?

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Boyzee said on 11 February 2011

I just don't know what's wrong with me. I'm pathetic. I have a good job, a good wife, good friends - everything but I still feel depressed. I guess i will have to back to the GP. i've been on antidepressants (Citalopram) for 18 months but they don't seem to be working any more. It's hopeless.

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Ryan W said on 10 February 2011

Deppresion, its a funny old thing...... you walk day to day life in a nightmare, woundering when it is your gonna wake! but then again you can become addicted to the feeling in which holds you back and when you are on the road to recovery you feel lost and confused which you cannot explain... but before you know more problems accure and the defistating crushing of the deppressive circle happens all over again and again and again. its not a thing to take light hearted as you lose sight of what life is all about and you cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel and your waiting for it to come back... it not untill then you cannot remember the last time you fwelt happy nor comfidant about doing stuff. then before you no it its wake up every morning chucking down the anti-depression whilst going to therapy 2 times a week not knowing how long you have been doing this for and how much longer you will have to. but back to the agony side of it! having to put on a brave face acting like everythings ok... cus if not you have people in minutes asking whats up like my therapist said you hide behind "the tears of a clown" it was then i realised that this is not me it isnt normal to be sad or happy everyday but ohhhh god! wouldnt it be nice just to have that feeling of at least one happy day...

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ste574 said on 09 February 2011

I Suffering from it myself for the last 6 years i don't take any thing for it i just get bye but to day i fell i was in a box 6 ft under

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LDS 1967 said on 09 February 2011

My son took his own life in April last year, he was 21 years old. He was suffering from depression after a realtionship of five and a half years broke down. Nobody had any idea how bad he was feeling as on the outside he was full of life, happy, always joking around. He was a business graduate, had a good income, had played football at a semi professional level and had a massive amount of friends (over five hundred of these attended his funeral)......he seemed to have everything to live for. I am now depressed myself, which of course is not surprising...I feel the need to understand more about depression and to help others to understand that this is not a weakness...it is a recognised illness and can eat away at a sufferer just as a cancer can. Whereas people may presume my son was weak, he was actually extremely brave....he hid the extent of his depression from all his family and friends even though he was being persistently tormented by his ex girlfriend. Please if you know someone who is suffering from depression, don't presume that they will "snap out of it" or that they are a weak person. If you are suffering from depression yourself, please do not be ashamed....seek help...you are not weak, you are not crackers....you are ill!! xxx

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sleeper said on 19 January 2011

Reading all your comments makes me feel I am not alone. I am currently sat in my coat on the sofa with the curtains closed after having dragged myself out of bed to take my gorgeous child to school. I know I am just going to sleep for a while now, right here. I described to my therapist yesterday that I wished it was like in the fairy story Sleeping Beauty... everyone would fall asleep for a day or two just so I could be alone and have some time out without anyone knowing, then I wouldn't need to feel guilty or lazy for taking time for myself. Even if the postman comes to the door I am irritated by it, I don't want to talk. I'd taken my dog out the other day and people stopped to pet him, which irritated me cos i wanted to walk alone and make sense of my head, not make small talk. I feel so unsociable and just wish I could stay asleep until this cleared. I can't remember things that I did yesterday and thats quite scary. This has been really good to write but I bet I don't read it back to myself!!! My advice: Keep smiling :-)))

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tlc36 said on 17 January 2011

I am a 36 year old female, I have suffered with depression since I was about 20 years old. I suffered with seizures when I was a baby and night terrors before I reached my teenage years.
Does anyone know if they could be connected?

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J Ha Perso said on 17 January 2011

Following on from my last comment, I'm in my second week of leave from work due to depression. I have to say, I think this has and is definatley one of the most stressful periods of my life; which doesn't help when you're a sufferer of depression does it. Rather than venting or telling my story here, I just wanted to give some tips to anyone who happens to read this post. I know it's hard, I think we can all relate to eachother here but firstly I really would recommend that if you haven't already, talk to someone about your depression- even if it's through a website like this, rather than face to face, it does help to get it off your chest. Don't get me wrong, it won't solve all your problems or cure your depression but it will help. I strongly believe that one of the best things you can do when suffering from depression is to go to your doctor, they're the experts at the end of the day and if your doctor is anything like mine, you'll be able to expolre various avenues to find the right solution for you. You may have heard all of these tips before, but I too am speaking from experience, if you find that you are going thrpugh a real bad period with your depression, take some time out (if you can) and try to relax. Think of no one but yourself, veg out, watch some TV, read, take relaxing baths, make sure you eat well and avoid overdoing it on alcohol and I know it's probably the last thing you want to do when you're depressed but excercising really does help you know. As well as this, have a night out with a friend/group of friends or family member- it can be anything from dining out to clubbing to cinema, you'd be suprised of how socialising can really pick you up. Don't get me wrong guys, I still feel low with depression but over the past week I have found that small steps can really make a difference. I really hope this helps, some of the stories on here are so upsetting, they make me realise how lucky I am. Hopefully, this will inspire others as they have me.

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Billiem said on 13 January 2011

I don't normally mention that I have depression to anyone, my Mother and Father have both suffered with it and my Mothers reaction towards coping with depression was to drink and then start shouting and crying. It was always as though whatever I was going through, there was no way that I would be able to experiance that amount of sadness because my feelings never counted- she was the only one that mattered. I have suffered with depression since I was 14 and it went un noticed until I was 21. I thought that I was just been silly- pull yourself out of this mood my Mum and Dad would say, as if I was just mesing about. I don't go out, I think I have now been inside for about ten days, I have no job so I feel useless for not contributing. I feel guilty because I have twins and I want to take them out and take them places- we do go to the park across the road and I take them to group- but I can't afford to take them anywhere nice. If people come to the house, I tend to hide out of the way, I'm ashamed and I don't even really know why, I just have never had a very good relationship with people. My partner is lovely but even he said about a month ago that I did this to myself. I want to do things but financially we are crippled and I don't know what to do. I feel that people judge me even before they know me and maybe people are right, maybe it is just me that feels that way. I feel ashamed, like I don't deserve to live. Sometimes when I go to bed I hope and pray that I will die in my sleep and when I wake up I feel awful. I don't think I would ever kill myself but I do think about it. I never want to leave my kids but I feel useless and I know how awful it is to grow up with a depressive parent and I don't want to be a negative infulance on them. I have been on medication previously and I have had councelling but I hve never been "happy" and I just want to be "normal".

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Jessi247 said on 12 January 2011

I swear I've had some form of depression since I was 12. I used to cry a lot pretty much every night. As I have got older I have dealt with things a tad easier, but the symptoms are still there. This has got in the way of education, work, social life. I become such a horrible person or a total recluse. I'm absolutely sick of it.
I've tried on a few occasions to sort this out, once when i was about 14. The woman stuck the questionnaire (which is on this page) in front of me. I was a kid, i couldn't be honest on it and never went back to the woman.
I'm now at university, its supposed to be a time to make new friends, be a whole new person. I'm having no fun at all, driving my new friends away from me, I hate myself. I can't even get out of bed most days, I should be exploring whats around me but I can't.
I tried cognitive therapy at the university doctors, absolute waste of money and i was told I was fine.
I went to the university doctors and built up the courage again to talk about it, she said that its because I'm very close to my mum and took on her emotions when we moved house when I was young. She then just prescribed me drugs, no counselling, nothing..I don't want drugs!!!
I'm currently in the process of finding a good doctor that can help me...failing so far as it's that pathetic I'm struggling to get out the flat, even my bed :(

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J Ha Perso said on 12 January 2011

To be honest, I've always known that I was different from most (and by most I mean my friends, family etc). But it's only been over the past year that I thought hold on, I could actually be depressed. Before then I put my up's and downs to general mood swings and my drama-queen personality. But in January 2010, I woke up one day and just thought I've had enough. I'd tried to end my life on a couple of occasions before that, but again, if I'm honest, they were really just cries for help and once I'd recovered I went about my life like nothing had happened. Following on from my bad spell last year, I went to various therapy sessions and doctors appointments, we ruled out Bipolar disorder and tried different medications. Things started to pick up when I split from my long term boyfriend and met someone new, who I've been with for six months now. I tried to take on all these changes as positive changes in my life but it seems that my 'mood' has gone from low to high and back down to low again. This time I really am at my lowest, passed the point of caring about anything; I type this while on another sick-leave spell from work, after having a bit of a break down a week today, my doctor gave me some new meds and signed me off for two weeks with stress. You know when you just feel like you've had enough? I hate my job, I can't stand my boss, I can't afford to live and those factors, amongst lifes day-to-day problems, mixed with my 'mental health' problems, are just turning me into an almost zombie-like state. I've just had enough. . I'm sure many of the people who have commented on this page know exactly what I'm going through and how I feel. I just feel so lost. It's just one thing after another, n' it doesn't help that I find it hard to deal with stress anyway. I'm so ashamed of myself sometimes, I'm 26, surely I should 'have it together' by now. I probably have so much to be happy about, but I can't see this, all I do is cry and stress and cry and stress.

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RoarPanda said on 08 January 2011

Hi, I'm 19 and I think I may be depressed. For the past three years Ive found no motivation or joy in anything, and this has really taken a toll on my education and work life, making me stressed and making me feel even worse, it's like some horrible little cycle. Thing is, I'm not sure whether i'm actually depressed or just happy to find something to blame my life's failings on other than myself. It feels like im just making excuses. I don't really know what to do, my attitude towards my family and my girlfriend have really been dipping recently as I'm feeling worse and worse, but I dont want to end up having to take drugs to get any joy out of life. I think I really became worried when last night I felt so down I went and started drinking just to make myself feel a little better- which i've never done before.

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broon44 said on 07 January 2011

A reply to confused and stressed said on 14 November 2010. I understood everything you said in your post.
I have never used a website this this before until I read your comment. I have suffered from depression, anxiety and panic attacks since I was about 14. They were not diagnosed until I had my first child at the age of 24. I also had a really bad time during and after my second child which lasted over and year and a half. Unfortunately, I am now back suffering from depression again at the age of 31. I am currently on Citalopram and struggling along every day. I know the horrible feelings will pass eventually and that it's a chemical imbalance in my brain that is causing it but it is so difficult to keep positive. I find the mornings are the worst, knowing I have to get up and get the kids ready when all I want to do is stay in my bed as I can't think of facing the day ahead. I'm lucky that I have my mum and dad who are very understanding as my mum has suffered from depression before. Unfortunately, like many others my husband struggles to understand it all. I also have a very understanding and helpful doctor. I know how horrible and horrendous this disease is and I feel for anyone who has to go through it all. I have found it really helpful reading all the posts, it makes you feel like your not on your own.

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Invisablegirl said on 05 January 2011

From what i've seen on this page, everyone here has a right to feel depressed, but im a mere 17 year old girl that dropped out of sixth form because i wasnt coping, i've had a string of rubbish boyfriends that havent treated me right, and i am currently holding down two retail jobs that quite frankly i hate and want to quit. . . i dont want depression, i dont want to feel this way, i only realised im depressed because i chucked a bunch of my symptoms on the boots analysis thing and one of the options was depression, my mum (who's currently suffering from depression too) told me to read it, and whilst doing so i burst into tears from out of no where, i know i should go to the doctors but i dont want to admit that i have depression, the last time i did, the doctors sent me to counciling, which has never worked previously, i think my depression is linked to events of my past, and all i want to do is be able to let the past stay in the past so that i can live my life and be happy. as im only 17 i dont want the doctors to give me counciling, nor do i want drugs =/ As well as all of this, my first proper relationship had some major faults and eventually, i set the guy free because i was carrying alot of guilt about stupid little things that id done, i set him free because he was two years older and he needed to experience girls and life in general, hes still in my life as my family have kind of adopted him, and recently ive found myself having confused feelings for him, sometimes i miss him and sometimes i dont. additionally, i have always been the strongest link within my group of friends, but it seems that even though im there for my friends even when they dont want me there, they dont realised how i feel and i dont think they even care about me anymore, thanks for reading this, if anyone has, whats your opinion, am i depressed? or just plain crazy? xx

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User514739 said on 05 January 2011

I can relate to 14142124's comment.
I feel like I have recently gone down a very slippery slope. I have felt low for months now but it comes in bouts, sometimes I can feel on top of the world only to be dropped back down into the 'pit' which is so difficult to lift yourself out of. I didn't want to face what might be the truth and I started taking the wrong path, I started taking drugs, firstly cannabis but then I took Ecstasy a few times and I self-harmed. I have also lost about 4 stone in the past 3 months or so and I struggle to sleep much at all, sometimes I lie awake until 6am. I don't know what I was looking for in the drugs - perhaps an escape, but I didn't find it. It only made me worse, especially the ecstasy. I was recently expelled from school after my friends were put in an impossible situation. It caused so much hurt and upset but now I realise that I have got to sort my life out before something even worse happens.
I feel so awful about it because I was in private education and I have let my parents down so badly. I'm also scared that if I go to my GP I will be 'fobbed off' as hormones being an explanation.

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Cant get help said on 29 December 2010

I have been struggling for three years now with depression and anxiety. I can only get about 3-4 hours sleep every night. Three years ago suddenly lights seemed a lot brighter and noises louder. I can't sit in a room with lights inless there dimmed or off. I also regularly feel woozy and need to sit down. I really want to know whether this is normal, does everyone with depression experience this?

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Cant get help said on 29 December 2010

I have been struggling for three years now with depression and anxiety. I can only get about 3-4 hours sleep every night. Three years ago suddenly lights seemed a lot brighter and noises louder. I can't sit in a room with lights inless there dimmed or off. I also regularly feel woozy and need to sit down. I really want to know whether this is normal, does everyone with depression experience this?

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Hoodie28 said on 24 December 2010

I have suffered from depression since having post natal after my 1st son, my doc at the time didnt want me to be labelled! So just recommended St Johns Wart. This helped a little, then i got pregnant again and the depression was much worse, and having 2 children under 2 with lack of sleep didnt help. The my husband cheated on me - that was 2000. I have been up and down since then, also have panic attacks etc. met my new husband 2004,had another son in 2006 and married 2007. But I am still suffering, and have recently had my ciprelex doubled, as now i have 2 teenage sons that test the limits of my sanity. My husband is struggling to cope with the step sons and with me and I can see that he is now suffering depression and that theres a good chance that depression is going to cause my 2nd marriage to breakdown to a man that I adore and cant imagine coping without. Unfortunately he wont go and seek help and he doesnt want to talk to anyone about it. he feels a failure as a father, and cant bare to be in the house for too long with the family. I am feeling so lost, I have my friends, but I just want my husband back.

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Hoodie28 said on 24 December 2010

I have suffered from depression since having post natal after my 1st son, my doc at the time didnt want me to be labelled! So just recommended St Johns Wart. This helped a little, then i got pregnant again and the depression was much worse, and having 2 children under 2 with lack of sleep didnt help. The my husband cheated on me - that was 2000. I have been up and down since then, also have panic attacks etc. met my new husband 2004,had another son in 2006 and married 2007. But I am still suffering, and have recently had my ciprelex doubled, as now i have 2 teenage sons that test the limits of my sanity. My husband is struggling to cope with the step sons and with me and I can see that he is now suffering depression and that theres a good chance that depression is going to cause my 2nd marriage to breakdown to a man that I adore and cant imagine coping without. Unfortunately he wont go and seek help and he doesnt want to talk to anyone about it. he feels a failure as a father, and cant bare to be in the house for too long with the family. I am feeling so lost, I have my friends, but I just want my husband back.

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HelloKitteh said on 23 December 2010

MarkMason27 I'm in the exact same boat as you. I'm at uni and love what I study but I just feel miserable all the time and often I just get this feeling that I want to just stop, everything. I don't want to talk to someone because I'm worried its not depression, just me being down. My boyfriend has had it and I'm just scared he's going to think that I'm just attention seeking because he knows what its really like and even if he did sympathise I dont think he would held, it would just make me feel weak... I just don't know what to do, I'm sick of feeling this way...

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Lynne123 said on 10 December 2010

I'm 19 and I was recently diagnosed with depression and panic disorder. Whenever I was in an unfamiliar situation, I would just have a massive panic attack, and it was hard to handle. Eventually I just avoided the situations, but in doing so isolated myself. It was difficult to form friendships as well, because I was scared of what people would think.
My family found it hard. They couldn't understand how someone as young as I was could be depressed and suffer panic attacks. It's difficult when people tell you to just get over it, or "buck up your ideas". It's not as easy as that. I felt guilty over the way I felt and wished I could just push a button and make it all ok. Sadly, it doesn't work like that.
I finially couldn't take it anymore and was so low I just wanted to dissapear...so I went to my GP. That was difficult. But afterwards, having had someone listen AND understand - it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.
I'm now on medication and attending CBT, and although it's been a tough journey, I'm so much better already.
If you think you're depressed please seek help. GP's, psychologists etc are all understanding. Don't make the same mistake I did and let it go on and on because you're scared or think people will think you're crazy. You're not. It's soul destroying but it is a very real illness - there is light though, you can get better :)

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tnotts said on 22 November 2010

im only 15 and dont know if im depressed or not i recently lost my uncle and grandad and moved out from my mums, i feel ive lost evereything close to me as my cousins, auntie, nanna and mum dont talk or want anything to do with me. recently i feel really low and keep thinkin silly thoughts about how i might just be better off if i wasnt around anymore i cant sleep some nights and struggle to wake up in a morning im starting to loose intrest in work etc which was once a favorite past time i just dont know what to do anymore.

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MarkMason27 said on 20 November 2010

I'm 18 years old and have recently just moved to Uni. I don't want people to judge me as someone who can't cope with the work or being away from home as this is just not the case.

I've made great friends at Uni and I have amazing friends. However, when I'm alone I feel constantly depressedn it's like I need company all the time.

Example was last night I came back from a night out and I'd enjoyed myself with my friends. As soon as I get back in my room it's like being hit with by a brick wall.

What worries me the most is that there seems no reason for me to be depressed. I look back on my life and I think how lucky I've been to have such a good family and set of friends. Everything in life is great still but I can't help but feel just utterly pathetic when I'm just by myself.

I've had these odd feelings before when i was in school and at college. But they seemed to fade away. This feels different this time as telling myself to get a grip just doesn't work.

I'd just like some advice on what people think I should do. I've talked to one of my flat mates about it but she just thinks I'm homesick. I find this patronising, I know she's trying to help and telling me I'm fine but obviouslly I'm not I break down randomly when I'm alone for no reason.

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kitty123 said on 19 November 2010

Was diagnosed with depression over 10 years ago. Learnt to manage it with medication. I am now trying to get pregnant after having treatment for endometriosis. If I ever want to have a child I have a very short window in which to do it. I am 36 now and am struggling trying to reduce my venlafaxine medication for depression. I was in control of everything in my life and over the last few weeks I have become a mess. I can just about manage to get myself to work, although have taken the day off today as I felt as though I was losing it yesterday. I feel anxious, lost, paranoid, tired as well as feeling angry and acting like someone I do not recognise. I am in a predicament now as I have to come of the anti depressants before I get pregnant but I have a very short time in which to become pregnant. I am worried I cannot cope with anything so how on earth can I cope with a baby in the state I am in. It is just such a mess. Also worried my partner will not want to be in a relationship with the negative, aggressive monster I am becoming. To answer the question "how do you know if you have depression" in my experience, you will have the feeling that you are not in control of your life and cannot cope with ordinary daily life, going to the shops can fill you with anxiety and feelings of helplessness like you just want to fall to the ground and cry uncontrollably. Of course there will be varying degrees of depression but if you have any concerns seek medical advice immediately.

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Scotland1 said on 16 November 2010

Hi all. Louise2789 thanks for you comment. It`s good to hear from someone who`s in the same situation. How long have you been feeling this way? I seem to go like this every year the doctor said I will always suffer from depression on and off. People who haven`t been depressed don`t understand. Do you have anyone to tallk to? I have been back on cipralex for 3 weeks and don`t feel a difference.

To the girl who`s at uni it`s sounds like your depressed. Maybe a visit to your doctor might be a good idea.

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_sophie_ said on 16 November 2010

My situation is pretty similar to confused and stressed's. I don't know if I'd actually be diagnosed as depressed; I've never been to see a doctor about it or anything. I'm also in my second year at university, and whilst I've not had trouble with the work, I've found I don't enjoy it much any more (which is strange because I love the subject I do). I can't concentrate in lectures and often fall asleep. I make a lot of notes at home, but that's also becoming hard due to not being able to concentrate. This is really stressing me out as I'm here to do uni 'properly' and I'm aiming to get a first. I'm tired all the time and have absolutely no energy. I often have to bully myself into going to lectures. I get anxious very easily and I also have mild ocd. I don't really mention it to any of my friends, and always put on a bright, happy front as I don't want to burden them or be seen to be weak and attention seeking. I spend a lot of time on my own, watching tv or films and reading. It's like vicky1147 said, reality is just so much easier.
I think part of the problem is I've been single for two years now after breaking up with a guy I'd been going out with for nearly 5 years and I can't seem to find anyone to be with. Out of all the girls I'm friends with, I'm the only one that hasn't found a boyfriend since coming to uni (there's 5 of us). I know you shouldn't *need* someone, but it would be so nice to have someone that's special. I have very low self-esteem and I've recently been experiencing body dysmorphia; I can't trust what I see in the mirror any more which also worries me.
I'd never actually harm myself or commit suicide but I do often think that it would be nice not to be alive any more. There just doesn't seem to be anything worth living for at the moment.
I've always had a melancholic personality, but I just want to feel good without the help of drugs, alcohol, food or shopping which I use to fill the void.

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confused and stressed said on 14 November 2010

hey, i found this page after looking at many not so up 2 date ones. In my case i'm not sure if i am just feeling extremely down and as i have a personality that worries alot i dont know if i am actually depressed or not. I have a tendency to think alot and go though many aspects of my life and worry about them.

Recently i've moved away 2 uni for my second year, which is alot harder. Also i'm on the pill which i think might be the problem which i found in previous chat logs. My main problem is that i have a horrible anxious feeling in my stomach alot and feel worried, i also recently split up with my long term boyfriend as i kept thinking i didnt love him anymore but then got back together when the thoughts went away but i still have them now and again. I also feel like i can never be bothered going out anymore, and am always tired and never have any energy. I feel like over the last year or so i have just become boring and withdrawn from friends alot i hope this is just a phase im going through due to all the changes in my life eg- uni etc but i'm not sure if i should go 2 the doctors 2 see if it is more than this.

I would really appreciate anyone with similar circumstances or stories to message back. Just not feeling me just now! thanks :)

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confused and stressed said on 14 November 2010

hey, i found this page after looking at many not so up 2 date ones. In my case i'm not sure if i am just feeling extremely down and as i have a personality that worries alot i dont know if i am actually depressed or not. I have a tendency to think alot and go though many aspects of my life and worry about them.

Recently i've moved away 2 uni for my second year, which is alot harder. Also i'm on the pill which i think might be the problem which i found in previous chat logs. My main problem is that i have a horrible anxious feeling in my stomach alot and feel worried, i also recently split up with my long term boyfriend as i kept thinking i didnt love him anymore but then got back together when the thoughts went away but i still have them now and again. I also feel like i can never be bothered going out anymore, and am always tired and never have any energy. I feel like over the last year or so i have just become boring and withdrawn from friends alot i hope this is just a phase im going through due to all the changes in my life eg- uni etc but i'm not sure if i should go 2 the doctors 2 see if it is more than this.

I would really appreciate anyone with similar circumstances or stories to message back. Just not feeling me just now! thanks :)

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Louise2789 said on 13 November 2010

Scotland1 I agree with you. I want to feel better but just can't. You just sit and watch things happen. It feels like something is suffocating you and you don't know how to, or if you can, get past it, like you said, you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

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Scotland1 said on 07 November 2010

Don`t know where to start but being depressed is such a horrible feeling. You want to feel better but just can`t. Getting up in the morning`s is so hard you`ve got to drag yourself. I used to be such a busy on the go person but lately I just want to sit there and I miss out of family activities. I find watching my 4 year old a constant struggle. I wish I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. I would like to hear from anyone who struggles through the day and can understand. Thank you.

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Anomomous said on 05 November 2010

Iv not been 100% since my 1st child 4 years ago, I had had depression when I was a teenager I resorted to lots of methods to rid the pain, self harm, drugs, drink and other stuff releasing now how bad I was.
Now it's not as bad that's why it's taken me longer to except I have it, where I previously thought of everyday events of ending my life, like the way you think about something insignificant in daily activities, not excepting it's Abnormal, I somehow pulled myself together. Yet although symptoms aren't so strong, I tend to lash out a lot, don't like seeing people just not wanting anyone around me including kids, life's been like a chore, I don't want sex anymore, just don't care& when I try to care I get mad with frustration bcos I can't fix it, I end up erratic wanting to smash my head against the wall, just wana feel normal again, after my 1st all I did was cry but it passed but not been 100% happy since, after my 2nd I just felt angry& couldn't shake of the feeling,sleeping I just cant sleep, I'm tired but can't shut off when I get my head down, my appetites gone, just forget to eat, I relies when my body feels heavy, shaky & drained that I need fuel. I feel bad on my kids as being young I can't explain it to them, my eldest misses out somedays with me & her dad has her, Coz I'm so drained I can't do anything, I just wana be left alone and not deal with anything lock the door and sleep for days, not that I can. I'm on citalopram at the moment not been on
Em long. Feel worse at mo. But gotta wait for them to
Kick in. My partner feels unloved as I don't want cuddles kisses or anything, I even try to avoid conversation or tell him to stay away or leave! Jus Coz I wana be alone, it almost feels like desperation for it. I'm hoping I get a result from these tablets soon.:-(

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Buddwin said on 01 November 2010

Had depression 4 a long time 16 yrs when my oldest was born. Have had to deal with it ,my husband not very supportive coz u can't see the depression so to him I'm not ill ,have good days and bad days all I think of is my 2 kids that's what keeps me going and not taking my own life coz sometimes I have tried. You have to b focus n strong also have other health worries but that's another story.

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14142124 said on 23 October 2010

I'm 16 and I self harmed when I was younger. When I was about 13 my mum found out about she tried to get me to go and see someone but I didnt want to talk to anyone. Eventually I stopped self harming with the help of my parents and good friends and started feeling a lot better. Recently Ive been feeling really bad. I dont ever feel like going out or doing anything and sometimes I just dont care about anything. I dont feel like I have to energy to do anything, I'm always so tired. I have some friends but I mainly only see them in school time and I find myself making excuses to not go out. At home I just watch tv and films and read. I've put on a lot of weight recently too. Sometimes I have confidence in myself because I know I can do my a levels, it's with other people that I struggle with self confidence, I'd rather not speak to people at all than have them hate me. I feel quite ashamed of myself that I feel like this, my family do a lot for me and if I talked to them I think they would just dismiss it and say its down to hormones or something. I cant to to friends about it either, I think they would just think I am being stupid or attention seeking or self absorbed.

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chellela said on 16 October 2010

I have had depression, anxety issues and ocd since the age of 12, i was misdiagnosed by a psychologist and psychiatrist. My depression worsenedlater this year. so i went to see my G.P i seen one of the new doctors at our surgery who was very supportive she had me in once a week for a while then every 2 weeks then said she would like to see me every month she was very understanding and caring, she is off sick at the minute and i have had to see other doctors at the surgery and regardless of feeling so low one of the doctors said she would give me my medication on repeat prescription to save me from having to go in. even though i have had sucidal thoughts and have been self harming. i declined this offer and said i would wait until the other doctor is back soi could see her. might i add this doctor wasn't impressed i told her what i wanted to do, she even increased my medication which made me feel alot worse.i feel like i have no where to turn since the doctor i was seeing isn't well at the minute and i don't know when she will be back and the rest of them don't seem to listen or spend anytime with me im in and out in 2 minutes with the rest of them. i can't even have counselling as our service here has closed their waiting list so have to pay to see a private counsillor.

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spenny22 said on 14 October 2010

I have suffered from depression for many years but recently i have cut my heavy drinking back annd have to say feel a bit better.Alcohol IS a depressant and whilst i will continue to drink responsibly the days of me sneaking strong lager into my bedroom every night are over.Anyone reading this who feels low and are heavily boozing i would urge to get alcohol aware.

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vicky1147 said on 13 October 2010

Reading these comments i realised sometimes it just helps to put your thoughts out into the ether. So here's my story:

I think i've always had slight OCD and recently i've found out it manifests itself mainly in body dysmorphic disorder, which has gotten worse in the last few years.
Two years ago i left uni as i realised i didn't want to be doing my degree. Tried to do another but dropped out. I kind of withdrew. My so called friends obviously didn't care that much as they never contacted me much and i came back to my home city thinking things would get better. But i had to move in with my parents and things got worse. A year on and it's a little better. I finally have a good job and a handfull of friends that care, but i'm too afraid to talk to them in case i become a burden to them and i'm left with no friends.
I feel no one knows me or understands me and most people don't even try. I have a habit of escaping reality a lot by reading and watch tv too much. I spend more time in fantasy than reality and it's how i cope. I know it's dangerous to withdraw yourself that much and live your life in films and book but it's so much better than reality. I'd never consider killing myself tho but not participating in reality is nearly as bad....
The doctor diagnosed me with depression but could only refer my to the practise nurse who is a counsellor. It's not really proper help is it? I'm afraid to discuss this too because i feel people might dismiss it because i'm not showing it much or have a worse case or am suicidal.

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CaraTee said on 09 October 2010

@FRAGGED. I too have a similar story to you, depression started when I was about 13, struggled with it for 5 years until I found a really great GP. Unfortunately he's retired now and I'm back to GP's who don't understand or just don't have the time. So feel a bit lost and giving I'm up on them. Everything else you've said rings true to my experience. I notice it generally does get worse during the winter months, anyone else? I'm looking into the Seasonal Disorder too, see if the lights help.
Shame there isn't a NHS forum, shared experiences and support from people who have been through it helps.

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Fragged said on 08 October 2010

I think I have had depression for most of my life - at least since I was about 13. But it was never taken seriously, and so I achieved nothing at all at school. It comes and goes, but nothing that would 'fit' into the classical categories that most GPs seem to use to diagnose it. I can be fine for week or months, and then suddenly plummet - that can last for weeks, months or more. It isn't straightforward - it starts mildly, then stops. Then starts again, but worse, and then stops, and continues until I can't function any longer. Partners don't help, and often judge you as being too self involved, and one criticised me for taking medication. She simply refused to accept that sometimes it is the only way.

Well, it was under control for about 6 months, but it's starting again. GPs don't seem to give a stuff, and don't understand nor care. There is no one to turn to. No one.

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picklebob said on 06 October 2010

hello all i want to ask for advice about depression i just want some insight before i pursue it i have been feeling reallly down and just useless for ages now i always get the feeling my freinds dont want to know and just use me it make me really crap i cant get the courage to do anything and just cant bring myself to do the simplest things and it makes me feel even more down it gets to the point where i just wanna give up on everything and ive just had enough i want something to just help me deal with it cause i dont know what i wil do next if it continues

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ladeedeeladeedoo said on 04 September 2010

Hello everyone! Im 16 and have been diagnosed with depression for just over a year. Im just receiving psychological treatment as ive been told the tablets can be long to start working. As a result of this I didnt get to sit my 5th year exams. As the new school term has startd I started feeling better until I got told there are subjects they wont allow me to take because I dont have the grades. My education plan has gone to pot and I am starting to get worse again just as I was about to have my case closed. My friends have posted pictures of them slitting their wrists as a dig at me, te thing is I dont listen to "depressing" music I was quite the normal teenager, I just got bullied alot and when my friends started it I started to feel low. Mentally, I feel i am more mature than other people my age now and after being made fun of for being ill I know who I should and shouldnt be around. I feel like Im trying to get better but Ive got something tugging me back. I cant remember alot of things from my past anymore, I just blank them out, i suppose thats a good thing. If anyone needs and help at all I'll do my best for them, you're not the only one.

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sammey said on 30 August 2010

I have suffered with depression from the age of 17 and now am 56. The last episode was 2007 when my husband died and I am still struggling to keep thing together. I also suffer with anxiety and panic and very rarely go out because of it. I am taking antidepressants (Mirtazapine) and have been since 2007. I have had councelling but I feel this didn't help me. Three years on and I still find it difficult getting up each day and washing and dressing and find it extremley difficult preparing and cooking a meal for myself. I know I should see my GP again but for me it's not that easy.

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Lost girl said on 27 August 2010

I have been reading these comments and they have all been really insightful!! Depression is an idea that I have been trying to fight for many years now, as like some of you have mentioned I was put off the idea of medication. I thought I was just being a hypercondriac and so tried to get over it by myself. Unfortunately the feelings always come back to the same starting point and recently Iv felt Iike I'm starting to lose control of my emotions. I feel very lost at the moment and not really sure what direction to take to become fully happy again!! Like mentioned on here before, I too feel like a shadow of my old, normal self. The issue that puts me off seeking medical advice from a GP and has for a long time is that my job title is classed as being a 'professional' and as much as I admit to needing some support I can't risk losing my career that I have worked so hard for. The thing that scares me is when you do go to the GP for help it is all recorded on your medical records and I know that if it's recorded it will put an end to my career and thats something I can't afford to do. So I feel completely stuck of what to do for the best. do i seek medical advice, get my self sorted but lose my dream career, or continue to ignore these feelings in a hope to keep my job!! I think I would really benefit from councilling but to do that you need to again be happy for it to go on your medical records! I'm stuck!! Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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bananacake said on 12 August 2010

After reading the comments, I'd like to share my experience.
About a month ago, a close friend convinced me to go to the doctor. I was worried that he would judge me, or that I would be wasting their time. He was understanding, and we talked through some issues. I was prescribed medicine, and am seeking counselling.
I've been taking Citalopram for just over a month now, and I've never felt better. I look forward to getting out of bed in the morning and spending the day outside, whereas before I often wouldn't leave my bedroom. There's still some issues to be worked through, but it will be much easier now that I am feeling better.
There is a bad attitude amongst some people towards mental illness, although I think this may be changing.
The few friends I've spoken to about it were great, and understand how the medication works. The only people who don't (unfortunately) are my parents, mainly due to misunderstanding what depression is and how it is treated.
I'd urge anyone considering visiting their GP to do so. They're there to help you. Don't listen to anyone who tells you otherwise. Seek help.

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Alan Shepherd said on 28 July 2010

Graduategirl
Like I said in my earlier comment, you have to fight for your treatment. Your GP is not an expert and it is expert help that you need. Go back to your GP and demand to see a psychiatrist or a member of your local crisis team, failing this go to an out of hours service at your local hospital where you will be able to seek psychiatric help, best of luck.

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alfie123 said on 27 July 2010

@ graduate girl 27 July
Your case of depression sounds very similar to my own - during my A levels I became uncharacteristically insular, negative and retreated to a dark inner world. It was very hard for my family and friends to understand why I was suddenly so different, so unhappy. I began to disassociate with the world, I became deluded about things and lost concentration easily making studying for my exams near impossible. I was unable to live up to the high standards I set for myself and felt I had let myself down. I was also a high achiever, the top of my class through secondary school yet behind the grades was an unhappy person with very low self-esteem and low confidence behind a cheery mask.

I would strongly advise seeking a councillor of some sort and I am surprised your GP didn't refer you to one. I think realising I had depression was part of getting better as with practice you can start training your brain to ignore negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones, breaking the spiral of negativity that brings you lower. It is not easy at first but you can do it.

It is now three years since my period of depression and I am happier, more confident and more self-assured than I have ever been. Whilst recovering I began to realise how unhelpful my old though patterns were and how my stressy lifestyle didn't help matters.
If you would like to talk to me about it, I can provide you with an email contact. Best wishes.

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Graduategirl said on 27 July 2010

Im a 24 graduate and am highly ambitious used to be so sociable and was a high achiever and somehow everything has all gone wrong. Im now insular and avoid seeing my old friends as i feel a shadow of my former self. I haven't achieved anything i thought i would by now. i hate going out so much so i stopped going to work with no explanation so have now lost my job, ill need to pay the rent next month but im feeling quite detached so just feel like i don't care. i went to the doctors and they just threw some anti depressants at me and said i was moderately depressed and probably never dealt with the grief of my brother dying from cancer when i was 19.The thing is i haven't taken the anti depressants as im scared ill never come off them and my mum was on them throughout my childhood which really upset me as a child so i have negative feelings towards using them. why can't my doctor point me in the direction of a councilor? I feel if i just had someone to talk to things could get better?

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Alan Shepherd said on 26 July 2010

Its difficult when you have depression, where to go, who to tell. what to do. Depression is an illness and you do need to seek help, your doctor is one way but I feel that the best way is through your local hospital via the crisis team, these are people who understand mental illness. But by my own experience you have to fight for what you want, don't be put off and don't be ignored stand your ground and fight for your right to get the treatment you deserve. I wish I could wave a magic wand and you would all be cured, but I can't but I am here for anyone who needs advice or just a shoulder to cry on. I will look in every day from now on because I do care and I will do what I can.

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tawanda said on 25 July 2010

Dear Chaser,

You are not in any way causing your partner to hit you, he is choosing to do this, and there is help here for you, you can seek help and assistance for you and your children, You can go to your Social Services and they will assist they will not judge you, but help you in the seeking some peace in yours and your children's life, something you deserve, he makes you feel that you are worthless, as this is what he thinks will keep you with him, as he knows he can not keep you if you were thinking straight, which you obviously are as you have contacted this site, well done. Social services can help as you have your children they will NOT want to take your children, rather they will help you and your children gain freedom from him they can and do work with the police in order to get a restriction order if he wont leave the house. You say in your e-mail it is your house so this is also in your advantage as he will have to leave if you want that. Please seek help, there are special units for women in this situation, this is because there are so many men that do this, so you are not going mad or bad it is him. The fear you feel is a weapon he uses, you deserve to be loved not hurt. You will get nearer to this with every step you take away from him. please let me know and take good care of yourself and your children x

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Alan Shepherd said on 25 July 2010

I have suffered depression now for 18 months, I have been on the brink of suicide but I did not give in. I have learned to develop coping strategies, what I mean by this is each time I have a low and I come through I remember what helped me to cope. It could be phoning the samaritans or confiding in a friend, these strategies become tools in your fight to beat depression, the more tools you have the better your chances.
What could help all of us is communication, someone to contact when you feel low, a self help email.
Anyone any thoughts.

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abbeylou said on 05 July 2010

I've recently been diagnosed with depression, I think I have known something has been wrong for well over a year but I never had the courage to go to get help. The doctor was brilliant but other people not so much I get judged and critised, people assume it is just a phase and dont take it seriously enough. This saddens me even more when I feel trapped and people dont understand. I feel isolated from everyone feeling like they dont understand, I'm 20 and have been pescribed sertraline I have been taking it for nearly a month and so far I feel no different.

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orangejuice said on 01 July 2010

I am nearly 18, and have had depression for around 1 year, and I am on citalopram. I have run out of tablets and cannot see my doctor now for 3 weeks. I am in my first week, and I honestly thought I would be fine; the tablets helped and I felt 'normal' again. I was so wrong - I already feel awful, aswell as my moods being at an all time low, my head also hurts like crazy. I am so scared and nervous to have to explain this to another doctor, as I feel sort of ashamed of it.

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Dominicsmummyuk1 said on 01 July 2010

today its just occured to me that i may be suffering from depression...when my son was born in 2003 he was diagnosed as paritally sighted and has since been registered blind as his vision is worst than they thought...hes been through alot over the years...almost died in 2007 during routine ENT surgery because he had an undiagnosed platelet problem...since then there is a very rare syndrome that includes his eye conditions and a bleeding disorder...ive had many periods in the past where i have just burst into tears and once i start i cant stop...i am having such an episode right now as my sons due his test for this syndrome on July 27th...feeling quite low but unsure its actually depression since i am so happy 95% of the time....

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dicaldio said on 28 June 2010

I am a 34 year old man who has only recently had the wake-up call with depression, and have this morning decided to see my GP about it. I have suffered sporadically with undiagnozed for about the last 10 years, which has had a massive impact on my career and my confidence. Up till this year I had (on average) one fit a year, but this year I have had 7 or 8 in the last 10 weeks, culminating in 10 weeks off work sick. I have been worried to death (literally) about my work, my finances, and the social stigma of my condition.
Last night I spoke to an ex-girlfriend about this, and my continuing thoughts of suicide, which was a great help,... the only thing that has stopped me taking my own life so far has not been my family or friends, but who will look after my dog. Silly, but at least I know that I have something that I don't want to 'leave behind', This morning I spoke to my mother who said that she had been worried for sometime, and could 'see this coming'..I don't know how the GP aapointment will go, but I feel so much better for discussing things with people I can trust.

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xannax said on 21 June 2010

I started having suicidal thoughts when I was 12 and started harming when I was 14. I've probably tried nearly everywhere. My arms, shoulder, stomach, leg, ankle, hand and knees are the places I can remember trying. Luckily, since going to counselling and taking tablets, I have been able to get better.

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shepurredmeow said on 23 May 2010

I'm nearly 18 years old, I think I've been suffering from depression since i was 13. I've been fighting it since I found out my mom went through having depression too. She told me after I had been self harming for 2 years and had already attempted suicide. There are days when everything seems so pointless, when life itself just seems so patheticly so. I can bottle it up and live with it. But it's not fixing anything. I had counseling when i was 15, due to a emotional break down during school. It didn't help, I just couldn't tell a stranger about my suicide attempts or my self harming , because, yes, it felt as if i was weak. I dont know what causes it. and the fact I leave college soon scares me because I'll have nothing to distract me.

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Lysette said on 10 May 2010

i'm sixteen years old and i have been suffering from depression for almost three years now, although it is not noticable anymore as i am a happy girl now thanks to the support i got from young concern in my area, i still have rough days and although i am 16 i know what its like to feel like theres no way out. I have my whole life to live and i hope it will be a happy one, I do not want to be the way i used to be because that person was afraid and pathetic, now i'm a fighter who doesnt see the point at sixteen worrying too much when the rest of my life is shouting at me to get a move on.

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rs87 said on 27 April 2010

This is going to sound stupid...but how do you approach your doctor without seeming like your wanting attention?

My Vicar (and very close friend) wants me to see the doctor, I just don't know how to approach the matter, I know logically he will listen, but I'm also scared I wont be able to tell him what is really going on, if you know what I mean.

I love my father to bits, but he has some very funny ideas about depression, and I have to be strong, and cant show weakness and I am so scared that by asking for help, I'll be wrong...

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trev1w said on 28 March 2010

hunnuhx .
Hi, you need to be brave and take the first step freedom ( recovery) by making an appointment and telling your parents. The bullying might have stopped but the psychological damage has been done, and, can't be undone until you start talking openly and calmly to your GP and your parents. But you need to get printouts of caring for some one with depression, this should give your parents an idea of how best to help you. This is important because if they try to talk to you in the wrong tone of voice or use the wrong words they could end up making your depression worse. As for BULIMIA, get help now!!!!!!!!!!!! Eating disorders like this cause life threatening damage to internal organs as well as stomach acid dissolving your teeth or rupturing the eusophgus. At the other end severe damage to the large intestine and the bowels. If you have ever had acid indigestion you will know the burning feeling in your throat, now imagine that going right through the digestive system, (your mouth to your backside) uncomfortable eh? But unfortunately it comes with agonising pain, a thousand times worse than any self harming could ever be.
I suffer from; rheumatiod arthritis, tinnitus ( ring in the ears) and severe depression, I am studying psychology at college and have just started an essay about eating disorders and personal experience in the form of my daughter made me reply to you now. Even when you stop making yourself vomit, taking laxitives or starving your self you are still at risk of organ failure leading to death, depending on the length and severity of your bulimia, so PLEASE,PLEASE,PLEASE go see your GP now, before your family has to go through the torture of watching you die a slow agonisning death.
TREV1 all the best get well soon.

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girl27 said on 23 March 2010

Hi. I'm writing this as my partner would like me to see my GP about depression. I have looked at the symptoms on the NHS website and whilst all the symptoms apply to me, I have been like this since I was very young, around 4 or 5 years of age, Is it possible to be depressed from this age, and for so long? I don't want to go to the doctors and embarass myself if this is just the sort of person I am. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thankyou.

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wilko1234 said on 27 February 2010

Hey,

I wouldn't worry about whether or not you're depressed. The important thing is to ask help from a friend, family or a doctor. Your problem is just as important as anyone elses. If it's affecting your life it's the same as a broken leg any other problem which may effect your life.

My friend who lives in my house with me suffers from depression and my father does too. It was horrible to see him like that, but I gave him loads of support and he recovered really quickly. I took my friend to the doctors and we spoke to the doctor about depression and I sat in with her. The doctor was really understanding and more than willing to help and offered lots of solutions which they'll be able to offer you too. She has had boyfriend troubles too and it's not a silly reason to be depressed. Infact some people can become depressed for no reason whatsoever, so at least you're going with a reason and an explanation as to why you feel this way.

If you don't feel like you can talk to anyone I feel that your doctor is a good starting point, and perhaps a counsellor, which you can probably arrange through your doctor. Your doctor will keep all your information confidential, so if you still don't want to discuss it with anyone after seeing the doctor, no one will ever find out you've been.

I really hope that helps you, and please get help, the sooner you do the sooner you can start to feel normal again and back on top of the world.

x

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AimeeLouise111 said on 27 February 2010

I think I might be depressed, but im too scared to tell anyone. And I don't really know what to do.

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Jayde said on 21 February 2010

How will you no if you have depression or greif.? i split up with someone over a year ago and i cant move on no matter what i do. i dont have self harming thoughts or anything that extreme but i cry alot and i think about the whole situation all day everyday. sometimes i cant get to sleep either. i dont want to go to the doctor incase they laugh or just think im being silly. i no people have worse problems and mine seems silly. But i dont want to be sad anymore its been a year and i just cant move on or get over it. someone help.

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Jayde said on 21 February 2010

How am i going to know if im depressed or if its just that grief thing?. i split up with my boyfriend of 3 years a year ago and i cant get over it. i dont have thought of killing or harming myself or anything that extreme but i cry alot and i think about it everyday. i want to hate him and things but i cant, its hard for me to move on and i dont want any other men near me. i dont want to go to the doctors or anything because they will probably laugh at me as people have bigger porblems than this. i just dont know what to do.?

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Caspar said on 08 February 2010

Dear plzhlp90,

If you are feeling in despair try and find someone you trust to talk to - a friend, family member or your doctor.

Samaritans provide confidential non-judgemental support, 24 hours a day. You can call them on 08457 90 90 90 or email jo@samaritans.org. Their website is at www.samaritans.org.

On NHS Choices we have a Live Well page on depression at http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Depression/Pages/Depressionhome.aspx which offers advice on coping with depression and tips on how to improve your mood. We also have a mental health blog where you can discuss living with depression with other people in similar situations at http://talk.nhs.uk/blogs/mentalhealth/default.aspx

We hope that the above information is of use to you.

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plzhlp90 said on 07 February 2010

hello there im new to this .i have suffered with depression since september 09. my daughter died when i was in prison and since then i have been on citalopram 20mg/40mg. i would like anyone to tlk to me please as dont think i can last much longer.

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xanders said on 05 February 2010

I rang the Samaritans twice today and it really helped. I also rang a good friend and watched a comedy. A walk in town also helped even though I felt dreadful.

This current bout of depression hit two months ago and it wasn't shifting. I think my mistake was to hide away from everyone and everything by staying indoors. Although this feels the right thing to do in the short-term I think in the medium to long term it makes the depression grow. Quality social contact and just getting out the house can elevate mood. I hadn't realised but I was hiding online for 2 months and trying to hide from the world.

I'm going to try and get out more and be more sociable even though a lot of my friendships have ended due to me learning to be more assertive towards certain people.

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xanders said on 05 February 2010

@Paula L:

I had a friend who was unsympathetic to people with depression. I temporarily lost contact with him when he moved away as he had a new fiance and a busy job. However I used to get the odd text every year or so.

Interestingly a few years later I got a phone call from him. He told me how he had had depression for about 6 months and he was very apologetic to me for not understanding before. He couldn't believe I had suffered it for decades. He was also very understanding regarding why I had found it hard to hold down a full time job.

Sometimes people only understand through experience... I must admit that if I had never experienced depression then I would probably just have assumed that people were moaning and exaggerating, however having experienced it for so long I now never invalidate someone's description of their situation.

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yinage said on 05 February 2010

ive suffered from depression on and off since i was eleven ( im now 16), and because of this site i just had the courage to go to my GP after i began selfharming.
what i hated was having to tell my parents, as theyre first question was "how do you know you are depressed?" - as if i couldn't tell the difference between this and being upset!
what struck me though is that me and 3 of my friends now selfharm, and my friend knows a further two more. why are we doing this, and what does this say about society?

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v1ck said on 23 December 2009

I have had depression for nearly 15 years, medication is nothing to be afraid of and you must learn to except if a few pills make life worth living and enable you to cope it is beter than struggling on. No cause has ever been found for my illness and yes i have copeing strategies but some days i still want to stop and die, Some times for a day or more and sometimes for a few hours before i can focus and cope again with moving forward. Tell your friends if you can,i bet they have had depression as well and true friends can be worth their weight in gold on a low day/hour/week. Saying to yourself i am depressed but i will not feel like this forever can help, its like a chant and can help you to make sense of it whilst your low. Make sure you tell your partner when your on a high! how much you love them because we are feeling it, the rawness and all the emotion ......and so are they and then they often have to pick up the pieces.
REMEMBER YOU ARE NOT ALONE x

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staci85 said on 13 November 2009

User366135 i think the reason people say those things to you is because they do not understand depression. It is very hard for someone who doesnt suffer or never has suffered to be able to truly understand and offer sympathy/help/advice for depression. It is VERY hard to tell someone how you are feeling but it is probally the first step in getting better so well done!! talking to people firstly gets stuff off our chests and then enables us to talk through solutions in making things better and even if you think things cant be made better we can work out ways around things, if you know what i mean?
Its good to hear you are feeling better but be careful because the medication can become addictive and may make you feel like you can not go on without it, which i believe isnt true! If you continue to think positive and talk i think your find youll start to feel ok again!?

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User366135 said on 02 November 2009

I suffer from manic depression, and as I'm 17 years old, it took a long while for it to get noticed. Only after several attempted suicides did people start taking me seriously. I wish that people had a better judgement towards teenage depression as often people think it's just hormones and growing up. But it is serious.
The hardest thing was telling some people and all they would do is look at me ang say 'Why? You're not depressed,' which makes me very angry and frustrated. Just because I seem fine when I'm around people doesn't mean I am healthy mentally. However, things are a lot better since I have been put on medication, so hopefully things should start to get better :) .

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PAULA L said on 31 October 2009

Why is it when you read about depression it is classed as a serious illness, but if you mention it to someone they look at you as if your " just a bit sad" . Suffering from it myself for the last 18 years i know how soul destroying it actually is.

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