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First Blog, here it goes!

by Everybody Lies on 9 January 2010

Well yes, here's my fist blog.  Suppose I should mention that I have been diagnosed with depression for nearly two years now.  Everything started off great, got the fluoxetine into me and I picked up, now I've started to drop off.  Must just be my body getting used to the drugs or maybe the conditions getting worse.  Who knows?  I'll find out on tuesday when I have a doctors appointment.

Let's start blogging.

Christmas and New Year:  Pretty tough.  That sums it up quite well!  My Grandad died at the begining of December so by the time everything was sorted out the internment of the ashes was 3 days before christmas.  There was the horrible part on christmas day where you look down the table to the empty chair, but we all managed to hold it together.  New Year's Eve I didn't get drunk, just wanted to be at home, sat on the sofa by myself feeling utterly alone in a house filled with friends.  I just can't seem to allow myself to be happy recently.  I don't think "allow" is actually the right word or even the word I am after.  What I mean is I just can't find joy in things that I usually would, that I have been looking forward to. 

I'm going to leave it at that for the moment, wonder if anyone actually reads this or if it helps anyone since that's what it's meant to be here for!

Good night and good luck.


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bern47 said on 10 January 2010

this is my first blog also and im actually crying reading yours, i have suffered from depression for about 25 yrs nowim still on prozac but 8 weeks ago i started getting severe panic attacks i cant leave the house and im waiting to see the mental health team next week  i know what you mean when you say that you cant find any joy in anuthing and what really annoys me is people trying to get me out of the  house  i will do it in my own time please feel free to chat to me anytime and take care things will improve

Optimist at Heart said on 19 January 2010

Hi Victoria

Yes, your blog IS being read and, like you, I believe the whole point of these blogs is to help ourselves and others.

Your comment that you can't "allow" yourself to feel happy - or that you no longer find joy in things you normally look forward to - is a classic symptom of depression and one that I know very well.  I hope you have some good times to balance out the bad.

Wishing you well,

Val x

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