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Intolerable!

by milkybar on 28 April 2011

I want to write something... To tell you everything I feel but the head won't allow it...!

I cannot concentrate once again! The noises in my head loud... How can I sleep when the animals are screaming in my head! How can I sit still when all I wanna do is run!! How can I speak when all I wanna do is scream!!

I wish they would lock me away for a short while!! Drug me up so I don't have to be me for a short while!!

STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT!!!

I went for a walk yesterday, four hours alone! I sat by the river and ate a sandwich alone! I walked miles alone! I then got chased by something in a bush!

I failed myself yesterday & last night & this morning!!.... It didn't give me the feeling I had last time... I just felt ashamed of myself, so I did it again...

I wanna Screaam!!! I am screaming inside! .................

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Candycan said on 28 April 2011

I hope you will find some relief in another way than hurting yourself :(

Take gentle care of yourself.

Sometimes when my voices get so loud like that I try to write down what they are saying and it helps me see if someone needs something. Then I can try to find a way to provide it, wether it is just reassurance or something more practical.

 
torchwood fan said on 28 April 2011

try to hold on in there i cant condemn your self harm as i know how bad mine is . the voices can make you think your going mad your not your in a bad place i know but at some point it may feel a tiny bit better i take 600mg of quetiapine and it helps there a lot better i just struggle when im stressed but most of the time now i can live with it. im also on diazapan twice a day and along with the anti deppressents  the diazapan works try to see if your docter can give you some look after yourself and never think your alone your not even if its us bloggers

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