18 April, 2009


Stages of Service Separation

student at deskStage Four - Recovery and Stabilisation
It is likely that the point will come when the partner at home reaches some stability in their routines and realises they are doing OK. We are all different, and where some may almost immediately step into this stage, others take weeks to find their feet.

Depending on your experiences, this may start a positive series of events, where each success builds confidence and leads to another success, thus leading to a positive feeling of capability. Alternatively, if you experience a set-back early on, this may result in a negative series of events, where a perceived failure can undermine confidence and restrict your feelings about coping. Whatever route life takes, you will need support. Often the support you arrange prior to your partner's departure will affect whether things go well or not, as the support available impacts strongly on whether you deal with problems as they develop.

This stage offers opportunities for those who wish to use them. Your partner being away may mean that you have more time for a hobby you enjoy, or an educational course you want to attend. No matter how positive your experiences are you are likely to experience increased stress levels. This can impact on your health, and some may find they experience greater incidents of illness. For women, being alone may result in increased feelings of vulnerability. Some people express a loss of sexual identity, as well as feeling of sexual frustration. Others feel a greater sense of identity through increased feelings of independence.

Whatever you feel, it's unlikely that you're the only one, and developing links with other Service partners can offer a sense of support and mutual understanding.

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