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Diary entry based on responses to 'The Highwayman' by Alfred Noyes

Task 4

This evidence of a pupil's work in writing and the teacher's assessment exemplifies the level judgement of a pupil working at high level 3 in Year 7.

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Assessment commentary

This brief diary entry signals the form (AF2) and attempts to create a sense of immediacy and tension throughout by time references – ‘its 11.00 pm'; ‘Now I am . . .’ (AF2). This also gives some support to the overall coherence of the piece (AF3), although there is little elaboration of key moments with detail (AF1). Sentences are mainly simple and of a similar form (AF5) but there are some limited attempts to vary sentences for emphasis – ‘Now I am reading. . . . WOW! what's that . . .’ – and the ending is intended to provide an emphatic – and positive – conclusion (AF3). Spelling of simple and common polysyllabic words is accurate (AF8), although there is only a limited range of vocabulary (AF7).

The attempt to craft a dramatic diary entry achieves some success at text level, where there is evidence of limited fulfilment of the criteria for level 4, but this is not the case across all the assessment focuses.