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10/08/2011
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Introduction

Notes describing fire engine

Children worked in pairs talking about a picture of the fire engine before writing their own notes. In the whole-class discussion the teacher prompted children to think about different aspects of the engine – size, colour, what it looked like – and ways of making descriptions come alive through comparisons.

Tahmid's notes show his ability to make use of the suggested approach. He has described the engine's size, colour and appearance, expanding his notes around the picture into fuller sentences.

Pupil's completed worksheet about a fire engine.
In the centre of the worksheet is a photograph of a fire engine. The sheet is framed with a repeating pattern of cartoon fireworks or sparkling red candles. There are spaces for the pupil's name and the date. The pupil has filled these in. Below the photograph, there are three lines, which the pupil has written on. The writing follows these lines, although it is difficult to read. It reads 'It is sine silver blak at the sine wells it is big like 3 cars tgeser. Ther is sine blue lite like a river. It hs stripes like a tiger. It is sine red like a'. The pupil has also made notes around the photograph, which are partially spelt or mis-spelled. These read: 'it is big', 'ther is bu is like a nive a red sine fier engin' and 'it is sine fire'.

Assessment commentary

  • In this brief piece of work assessment comments are made in relation to AF5, AF1 and AF7.
  • At sentence level Tahmid uses the verbs 'is' and 'has' appropriately for the genre (AF5 L2 b3).
  • The main interest is that words are chosen thoughtfully and with some precision to create an interesting description, for example 'it is shiny silver black', 'big as three cars together', 'shiny blue light like a river', 'it has stripes like a tiger' (AF1 L2 b2 and AF7 L2 b2).