Describing settings: Dungeon
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After looking at a variety of settings in shared reading, children were asked to describe the setting of either a castle or a dungeon to include a range of adjectives.
The descriptive purpose is maintained throughout the paragraph and Kylie attempts to use an appropriate style (AF2 L4 b1 b3). Adverbial and expanded noun phrases enhance the description (e.g. 'quietly ran across the dirty…', 'blazing fire torches') (AF1 L4 b2), but occasionally these are too elaborate to be convincing (e.g. 'Noisily the rotting skeletons slowly creaked…').
The vocabulary is chosen to create a picture of the dungeon in the reader's mind (AF7 L4 b2), although apart from some brief reference to sounds (e.g. 'creaked'), opportunities to develop senses beyond what the narrator sees have been missed (AF2 L3 b2).
Overall, the ideas are listed without internal links (AF4 IE).
Some variety in sentence structures, including the use of complex sentences and connectives such as 'which' and 'where', indicates AF5 L4 b2. Sentence demarcation is accurate and with commas possibly overused (AF6 L4 b3).