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APP writing standards file: Julia (Year 1 low level 2)

Pirate description: January

This writing arose in response to work in class about pirates and was completed independently using a writing frame.

He is a gub pirate. anb he wess a pash. he hass a pat. and a huck. he has a wubn fut. and a reb clooc. he hass a goobn soob. anb a pirate hat. he hass a goobn ring. anb a dig dlac diyb. he hass a dig dgywn dot. he buss fin the tresh.


He is a good pirate. And he wears a sash. He has a parrot. And a hook. He has a wooden foot. And a red cloak. He has a golden sword. And a pirate hat. He has a golden ring. And a big black beard. He has a big brown boat. He does find the treasure.

Assessment commentary

  • The piece is characterised by use of simple sentences and clauses (AF5 L1 b1 and b2). Julia uses full stops to separate each unit of meaning, marking off clauses and phrases, but has only one capital letter - for the opening word (AF6 L1 b2).
  • Repeated pronoun 'he', although overused, gives the text coherence (AF4 L1).
  • Simple, topic-related vocabulary, but many nouns modified by descriptive adjective (AF1 L1 b1 and b2).
  • Attempts to spell vowel digraphs are systematic but only partially phonetic (AF8 L1 b2)
  • Julia's letters are clearly formed although orientation still needs working on. Confuses 'b' and 'd'. (Teacher's note: Writing becoming too small - difficult to read, encourage larger handwriting.) Evidence for handwriting and presentation (not L1).


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