Sexual health
Young people who can talk openly about sex with their parents tend to delay having sex and are more likely to use contraception when they do. So, from a health point of view, talking about sex with your child is a good idea. It does not mean you are encouraging them to have sex.
Talking about sex
The best way to start talking about sex is to:
- start when your child is small - encourage them to ask questions and answer them simply
- make talking about sex a part of everyday life, not just a one-off talk and keep the conversation going as they get older
- try to introduce the topic before your child reaches puberty - waiting until then can make it awkward
- ask your child what they think about different situations to find out how much they know already - you can then give them answers and advice that they can understand
- use everyday media to start conversations - soaps, adverts, TV programmes, magazines - then you can talk about other people which is sometimes easier to start with
- use books, leaflets and websites (including those listed below) if you need information or ideas for how to start talking
- recognise that, as your child grows, they need privacy and may not always want to talk to you
- talk about the importance of considering the feelings of others in relationships, and not just the biology
- talk when you are doing everyday things together so it feels more natural - washing up, walking somewhere, ironing - so it's a normal part of family life
- try to be open-minded and keep talking, even if you are shocked by your teenager's attitudes and values
- talk to other parents about how they answer difficult questions and discuss difficult issues
Information and support for parents
Call Parentline Plus free on 0808 800 2222 to talk in confidence. There's also a free textphone service on 0800 783 6783 for people with speech or hearing impairments.
The Family Planning Association (fpa) can provide information and advice. Helpline: 0845 310 1334.
Information and support for young people
For advice on sex, relationships and contraception young people under 18 years old can call Sexwise on 0800 28 29 30. There is a textphone for people with hearing impairments on 0800 328 1651. Calls are free from landlines and confidential.
